How to Be Cool
Have you always wanted to be the cool guy, who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you learning to be the cool girl, who flows through life with ease and grace? If you think about all the people who you think of as cool, you'll find that they have several characteristics in common: they're all confident. unique. and generally on friendly terms with everyone; there's no reason you can't be like that yourself. There is really no true universal definition on how to be cool, but here are some guidelines to get you started.
Steps Edit
Method One of Three:
Being Cool Edit
Don’t just think about it — do it. It’s all very well to read books and blogs about self-improvement, but you have to actually get out there and apply the theories that resonate with you. Do it! It’s scary but so, so invigorating. Who knows that who you’ll meet and what they might be able to offer you? (Fun, intellectual stimulation, a pony ride, a job…)
- Be a person of action, not a person of ideas.
- Of course, thinking things through before jumping the gun is a great trait. But thinking things through and then not doing anything won't get you anywhere.
- Friendships are great, but don't act like you'll die if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Getting some alone time is great, too.
- If someone hasn't called you back, lay off. There's no need to follow up with annoying text messages. Give people their space and they'll respect you a lot more.
- If you don't let people see the real you, then what's the point? Being able to be yourself and to have people appreciate you is the coolest thing of all.
- Own your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your looks, your voice; anything which belongs to you. Own it and don't apologize for what you belong to you to anyone even if it is bad or you don't like it about your self. Remember we are all humans and we try accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world.
- Write a list of all the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
- Self-disclosure happens slowly. Don't tell the first person you meet at a party all about your personal life or things will quickly go south.
- If you're too eager to hang out with a new person, then it might look like you don't have any other friends.
- You can give someone a friendly compliment, but don't gush to the person about how amazing he or she is for half an hour.
- Be a good listener. Try to make the other person feel important, but only if you can genuinely. False enthusiasm will just appear cruel. When you listen to people, it not only makes them feel good about themselves, but also about you. If you're stuck, remember the golden rule.
- Most people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation concentrated on others, then people will love to talk to you. Wait for the right moment to make a comment. If you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach.
- Be playful! Joke around with other people. Making fun of people is fine as long as you know your limits. Different people have different tolerance levels, so be sure that the people you're around know you're kidding.
Refrain from using too many colloquialisms. This may make you appear as "fake" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently. If you feel it is necessary adopt a more formal register and use polysyllabic words, do so, but do not go overboard or you will appear pretentious. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.
Use humor. Cool people know how to use humor to ease any situation. They don't get annoyed and angry, and no matter how many bad things happen to them, they can still joke about it. They are aware of others' emotions but don't let bad emotion affect them.- Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.
- You can be cool and you can be too cool. People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at a goofy, obviously silly but funny joke. Don't be that person.
- You said what you felt and people will respect you for that, unless you say it knowing it will offend someone. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.
- Often times, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people who don't try, but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place.
- Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm.
- You should never substitute negative attention for really being cool. Most of the time, the people who have bragging competitions about law-breaking and bonging beer do not fit into the category of cool. If a group of people doesn't like you for who you are and the lifestyle you've chosen, move on.
- Don't do drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.
- Don't smoke- it won't make you cool- it will make you smell bad. Other smokers won't notice the bad smell because they smell the same way. When you smoke you will most likely hang out with other smokers, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends because most non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won't want to be around you. Don't judge smokers- just don't take up a habit you will eventually pay someone to help you quit.
- Avoid arguing. When you're cool, you realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you're right you just know it. You don't need to waste time, effort and energy by attempting to persuade someone who hasn't seen the things you have seen.